I remember being in a parent teacher conference with my mother in elementary school. The teacher was mentioning how well I was doing, referring to the tally of “A’s” in each column. My mother scanned downward along the list, her eyes catching on the single “B” listed amongst the rest, in the section labeled Participation. My mom’s disappointment seared into my memory, even as my teacher beamed at me.

I want to start by naming some of things that were told to me by medical professionals, social workers, lactation consultants, sleep expert authors, Dr. Google, and other well-intentioned people during pregnancy and after giving birth..

The first time I encountered racism was on the handball court. As the bell for recess rang, my best friend and I would run as fast as we could to the courts to claim a spot and start a game. We were fourth graders at the time…